


Eat Your Vegetables or No Dessert

by celerykink



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bottom Louis, Kink Discovery, M/M, Sexual Content, basically Harry fucks Louis with celery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-16
Updated: 2016-05-16
Packaged: 2018-06-08 17:27:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6866179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/celerykink/pseuds/celerykink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis was horny but Harry hid his dildo. When looking for the cucumber he finds celery instead. Harry wasn't happy about Louis taking his celery he was gonna use for his salads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eat Your Vegetables or No Dessert

**Author's Note:**

> with a name like celery on twitter, the celery fic was bound to be written.

It's now been a couple days since Louis and Harry's fight where it ended with Harry hiding Louis' dildo. Well now Louis is horny. 

Harry had just left a little bit ago to go get some food for them and Louis was trashing their room looking for his dildo. He gave up after 20 minutes and went downstairs looking for a replacement.

As he was walking down the steps thinking of what he could use, he thought of the perfect replacement.  
He walked into the kitchen to the fridge looking for a cucumber but instead found something even better, 

 

celery. The whole celery. Not just a stick.

 

He ran upstairs while undressing himself, celery in hand, and pushed the mess he made on the bed, looking for his dildo, to the floor.

He opened the bedside drawer and rushed to find the lube because now he was really horny. He started with two fingers opening himself up getting ready for the celery. 

After he built up a sweat and his wrist was starting to ache, he moved his hand around the bed to find the celery. When his hand wrapped around it, he picked up the lube again to make sure he wouldn't hurt himself too much and started to push the celery into his hole. 

Louis moaned out the second he started to push it in, "F-fuck oh my god, so much bigger than cucumber. Fuck!" 

He pushed it in further and then pulled out and repeated the action. When he finally built up the courage, he bottomed out on the celery and sat up, like he was gonna ride it, to catch his breath. 

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, Fuck! I can't believe I've never thought of this before."

Louis was moaning so loudly, he didn't hear the front door lock click, signaling Harry was home. 

-

Harry walks in the house annoyed, running his hands through his hair because while he was out getting food for him and Louis, he was in the middle of ordering food when he felt in his pocket that he forget his wallet. So now he's back home ready to make salad for him and Louis. 

He walks into the kitchen when he hears whimpering coming from upstairs and that could only mean one thing, Louis found his dildo. Who knows how he did, he thought he did a good job of hiding it this time.

Shaking his head, Harry walks upstairs ready to scold Louis (and maybe give him the real thing instead) but when he walks in his jaw drops.

Louis is fucking himself on his celery. 

His celery. For his salad that he was gonna make for the two of them. Harry was pissed. 

Louis gets startled at the sound of the door opening and shifts on the celery causing him to choke on a moan, because it felt so good. 

"Harry .. Y-You're back!" Louis attempts to whimper out. 

"Yeah. I'm back. I forgot my wallet and had to come back home. And now I'm even more annoyed because I was about to make us some salads but I come in to see you fucking yourself on the celery. Care to explain?" Harry tries not yell out. 

"I couldn't fin-",  
"You couldn't find your dildo so you had to go and get the celery. Fucking hell Louis, you're desperate for anything aren't you?" Harry snarls out. 

"Yeah, yeah needed something to fill me up. So horny, please Harry." Louis moans out desperately. 

'Well this is a turn of events,' Harry thinks to himself but still finds himself walking over to the bed. When he gets there, he grabs a hold on Louis' shoulders and pushes him on his hands and knees.

"You need something to fill you up yeah? To fuck yourself with? Well I guess the celery will have to do." Harry whispers in Louis' ear and takes a hold of the celery deep in Louis' ass, pulls it out, and shoves it back in. 

"Fuck! Just like that Harry, again!" Louis moans out and starts to push himself back on the celery. 

Harry repeats the action and starts to feel his own cock start to fatten up.  
"Fuck, you look so wrecked Louis. From celery, that'll be something to remember." Harry chuckles a little and starts to thrust the celery harder. He moves the celery at different angle and starts to thrust it in again and finally finds that sweet spot in Louis. 

"Oh my fucking God, Harry! Right there, yes! Again, again, again! That spot!" Louis screams out. 

Harry frantically starts to fuck Louis with the celery in that same spot, and finally after a couple more thrusts, Louis is coming all over the bed sheets and his tummy, so hard that he saw stars. 

As Louis is coming down from his high, Harry starts to take the celery out of his ass. 

"Fuck Louis, your hole is wrecked. I can't believe you took my celery." Harry grits out.

"I was desperate for anything after you took my dildo. What was I supposed to do?" Louis breathes out. 

"Well now I can't make salads for us, the celery is ruined." 

Louis wants to be sorry, he does, but how can he be when he just experienced the best orgasm he's ever had with the celery. He starts to think of other vegetables up his ass when he's interrupted by Harry again. 

"Clean yourself up, you're going out to get more celery." Harry sighs. He can't go out again with this hard on he's got. 

"But I don't want salad." Louis whines out. 

"I don't think I'm in the mood for salad anymore." Harry smirks at Louis. Louis immediately gets what he's hinting at.

Louis had never rushed to get his clothing on so fast before. And as Louis was piling the celery in his basket at the store, getting some odd looks from strangers, he smiled to himself thinking, 'I have a celery kink,' and he had never been more content with himself and his and Harry's sex lives.

 

-

 

And if Harry took the celery they used and made salad anyway while Louis was gone, ranch drizzled on top, then no one had to know.


End file.
